Animated Atrocities: Trading Cards

Show: Chaotic
Episode: 34
Year: 2008

Writer(s): N/A
Director(s): N/A


Sarah... fuck you. 'Chain of deals' stories can usually be fun detours in a show, but only when the one who starts off the chain is at least reasonable in their wants. Take The Life and Times of Juniper Lee episode "It’s the Great Pumpkin, Juniper Lee" as the best example of this plot. In order to break a spell on some monsters, June needs to get an artifact to undo it, leading to a chain of artifact deals culminating in a wrestling match. In this episode, Sarah needs a scan of the Danian Mugic called the Song of Mandiblor because the one she was going to scan was stolen by a Danian thief. In order to complete a trade-off, she manipulates her friends into completing a very complicated chain of trades to get her what she wants, some invoking going to Earth for the cards code, and some going into the deadly dangers of Perim to get them.


At first, it isn't so bad: Kaz ends up having to trade a scan of Drakness for Barrath Beyond to give to Tom to trade for a scan of Stone Pillar, an ultra-rare Location scan. In a way, she helped him save money because back on Earth, he was going to see a shitty zombie sequel; that much is reasonable at least. But when it comes to Peyton and Tom... yeah, she can fuck off. It's bad enough she needed to use puppy-dog eyes to get them to do what she wants, but in addition to Peyton needing to scan a Mipedian Cactus during a drought in Al Mipedim, Tom has to battle a player named Tartawrecker and win every single battle in order to get a scan of Ribbian from Agro999, the guy who lost to him! This is so Kaz get a spare Drakness scan to make it worth HIS while for SARAH'S deal!


Until the additional Ribbian offer was mentioned, it was a relatively ok chain deal, but then it goes into unreasonable and not funny BS. Anybody who's had to deal in trading cards of any kind can relate to how tedious and insane trades can get, especially in ante battles! By the way, I looked up the rarity values for these trades, and it's bullshit. Drakness himself is much rarer and harder to find than either Barrath Beyond or a Mipedian Cactus. A trade for either Ribbian, Stone Pillar or the Song of Mandiblor itself would be very fair in my eyes, of course I'm going off the card game itself and the fact that I myself have never possessed any of these... and considering Sarah is supposed to be FRIENDS with these guys, she didn't need to guilt them into this chain!


As the episode goes on, it gets more and more... well... "chaotic"! Kaz's friend can't find his card (which is why I always use binders; how do you lose a card in a rose bush?) and ends up finding his SUPER RARE BARRATH BEYOND CARD in the washing machine! I swear if I had a dollar for every time I left my wallet or phone in my pants in the wash... ruining a very rare card... I'd have lost it. As for Peyton, it goes as well as you expect finding a cactus in the desert during a drought... mirages and all. Dude... seriously... port out and get some damn water! I'm sure one of your Mipedian friends like Siado has a spare, he can let you scan, it's not like you're going to eat it!


With all of this said, the best part of the episode as per many Chaotic episodes is the battle, and for what little we see of it (and I do mean little), Tom's battle against 6 Tartareks went over very well. But it's the ending that just makes me want to drag Sarah into Mount Pillar and feed her to Queen Illexia! As it turns out, her creature friend Wamma caught the thief, and she got her scan after all. The others tried calling her, but she didn't answer her scanner! Meaning all those trades and scans were for jack shit! Most of the time the 'chain of deals' unravels, it usually does so at the end, like how in the Ed, Edd n Eddy episode "Who, What, Where, Ed!", Ed breaks the egg Eddy bent over backwards to trade for trying to free a chicken… from an unfertilized egg, ESPECIALLY when the TRADE IS ACTUALLY MADE! I'm not angry, of course, just annoyed. Hope you lost that drome match, Sarah, you ungrateful bitch.


Cringe-Inducing Audio: 0
Cringe-Inducing Viauals: 0
Lackluster Writing: 7
Annoyance: 7
Disturbing Content: 0
Unnecessary Cruelty: 4
Rancid Morality: 0
Low Production Values: 0
Unfortunate Implications: 0
Character Derailment: 3

Final Score: 21/100


Chaotic is caught in a weird right battle too complicated to go into.

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