Animated Atrocities: Mulan II

Show: Direct-to-Video Sequel
Episode: N/A
Year: 2005

Writer(s): Michael Lucker, Chris Parker, Roger S. H. Schulman
Director(s): Darell Rooney, Lynne Southerland

If there's a Disney cheapquel out there that I think just utterly shits all over the original movie it's based off of, it would be this one. A good lot of the direct-to-video Disney films just try to rehash the original movie without doing anything new and thinking stupid children won't notice, most infamously The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea which just swapped out Ursula for her crazy sister Morgana and made Ariel into her own father. As for Mulan II? Yeah, it basically rehashes the original movie and does everything ten times worse! 


You know how in the original movie Mulan was willing to sacrifice her freedom as a part of an arranged marriage if it meant the safety and stability of China? Well, here, she just says: "FUCK THAT SHIT" to the three princesses she's tasked with escorting for this exact reason and wants to teach these sheltered girls the art of being a free woman, even if it means SACRIFICING their own country in the process! The way these girls go on and on about how they want to be essentially servants and are actually EXCITED to have a man is just sickening! Then they backpedal and go on as on about how "they want to be like other girls"! Uh, excuse me, but in your time in your country, this is pretty much how things work! This is what Mulan fought for in the original movie, this is what she's defending now. See the problem? I get the princesses are sheltered, but you can only take something like that so far where it stops being pitiable and becomes annoying! And seriously, you only bring 3 soldiers for such a very important mission involving the MONGULS, and it’s these 3 dorks?


Yes, back in the days of ancient China, arranged marriages were used as a form of political peace treaty and, in some cases, are still used that way in Asia in a way. Marrying for love is actually a fairly modern and western idea. In Asian culture, a lot of marriages are actually approved of by the parents or by royal standings and such; back in those days, you'd be seen as a freak if you showed your lover real affection! And Mulan wants to show these girls how to find "real love" by marrying for love, at the cost of literally everything! So yeah, Mulan is actually the VILLAIN of this movie! The whole idea of marrying for love in Eastern cultures is a fairly lax practice even in Europe, but in Asia, it's as rare as a Chinese dragon! To think in the original movie Mulan was fully willing to lay down her LIFE to keep China safe from Shan Yu and his forces by any means, even her own freedom... in short:


MULAN! YOU'VE FORGOTTEN YOUR PURPOSE! YOU'VE FORSAKEN US!


Speaking of the original movie, while they got back the majority of the original cast for this THING, the one star they didn't get back just tries too hard to sound like the original actor. I am of course referring to Mushu, who is voiced by an Eddie Murphy impersonator here! Even with that, the actors barely have any emotion or drive in their performances, coming off as pale imitations even when they're the real thing. And speaking of the original movie, comparing their soundtracks is like comparing an orchestral rendition of The Legend of Zelda theme to its 8-bit theme, or rather some kid playing it on a kazoo like here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ad8o2j…. Point is, these songs are trash! And speaking of Mushu, he acts as the secondary villain, being a smug little asshole constantly manipulating everyone around him in an attempt to ruin their relationships.


The animation, of course, has taken a major hit from the original movie as well. The original film had stunning cinematography and choreography to go along with the characters movements; it wasn't the best, but it was still something you could say Disney put a lot of effort in. The backgrounds for the most part look rather passable for a Disney cheapquel (especially compared to The Fox and the Hound 2), but the characters just look so fucking uncanny in motion! It's like they aren't meant to be from the same universe as the original movie! And that scene where Li Shang snaps has to be some of the UGLIEST animation I've ever seen out of Disney!


 wasn't kidding when he said that a movie focusing on Mulan's friends and their girlfriends would be more interesting that this! Actually, I rather like his other idea for a Mulan sequel a lot better, and please allow me to expand upon it if I may. Have Shan Yu come back as a ghost out for bloody revenge where he possessed the Emperor and plunges all of China into total anarchy! With her friends at the mercy of the undead Hun army, and Mushu poised to be eaten as part of a ritual to resurrect the Hun leader, Mulan must journey into the deepest mountains to recruit help from the only being powerful enough to help her stop such a supernatural force: Sun Wukong THE MONKEY KING! Yeah, I know how little effort the sequels had to them, and this is far too sophisticated for something of this caliber, but it's a better idea than anything else I've heard from this movie!


But, of course, Mulan put all of China on the throes of total annihilation just to give us every single love story cliché you can possibly imagine! I don't think I'd ever see a movie where a character's intentions are so utterly incompetent and confusing, that they lead to WHOLESALE GENOCIDE! But we have to put the actual consequences of what Mulan is doing in the background to give us MORE STUPID LOVEY-DOVEY BULLSHIT! I want Jackie Chan to just magically show up in this movie and roundhouse kick Mulan in her fucking face! I haven't actually seen the original movie since it was in theatres almost 20 years ago, but this makes me want to watch it after experiencing this for only 7 minutes! I want that Mulan McNugget sauce, Morty! If it takes nine seasons, I want my McNugget... dipping sauce Szechuan sauce, Morty! That's what's gon-it's gonna take us all the way to the end, Morty! Season nine more seasons, Morty! Nine more seasons until I get that dipping Szechuan sauce! For ninety-seven more years, Morty! I want that McNugget sauce, Morty!

Cringe-Inducing Audio: 6
Cringe-Inducing Visuals: 2
Lackluster Writing: 7
Annoyance: 8
Disturbing Content: 0
Unnecessary Cruelty: 3
Rancid Morality: 6
Low Production Values: 6
Unfortunate Implications: 10
Character Derailment: 10

Final Score: 58/100


Mulan is owned by Disney and the People's Republic of China.

Animated Atrocities is from

Regulas314